A Baby Alone in a Basement (Counselling)

 


It’s been sometime since I last wrote a post as I had been at H.W. for my ED sometime, and was now home, and as much as it helped somewhat, there was still a bunch of things I still need to work through, ED, my mental struggles and my gut pains.

I tried a new counsellor for a couple months, and though the new lady counselor was also somewhat helpful, I was still not getting where I wanted to be, so I decided to go back to my old Christian counsellor.

On March 21, 2024 I decided to write about an important post about when I had my counselling and there were some things that stood out to me.  One was that you need to remember that words can have power over you for the good or the bad.  So it’s important to not say bad things as it could end up happening, and bringing you more down there is necessary.

After talking about that we got onto talking about a difficult childhood memory that my Mom told me about that was connected with my dad and I when I was a baby.

My Mom told me that my dad was getting angry at me and screaming at me because I wouldn’t stop crying, and because that frustrated him, he ended up putting me in the basement along – as he wanted me to get the point that I would cry it all out and be done with it.

My Mom was too intimidated from my dad to stop that from happening, which left me feeling scared and abandoned.

So my counsellor said to connected with our Yeshua (Jesus) and tell Him how I felt.  I said that “I feel alone, abandoned, and not loved.

I heard Yeshua say to me “that I have never left you❤️.”

I said “that I didn't see you or feel you back then🥺.”

Then Yeshua said “I know you are scared, which you have a right to be, as you were left alone with no one to comfort you. – But I am showing you now that – I was always there & always will be there for you. Just open you eyes and ears and you will see me - and the Love I Have for you.
I know it's hard for you to trust anyone - but I won't leave - as you are my precious child❤️.”

I gave myself a Reminder that when those difficult feelings, sensations and scares come up when I feel overwhelmed, triggered in my depression, fears, anxiety, and my suicidiation that comes up a lot, when I feel so trapped, abandoned and alone, to reach out and imagine my Yeshua there, and I can then help calm the little girl that is inside of me❤️❤️.

With Yeshua being there in that memory of the basement – He can help the little girl, which is me, to feel less scared – as He's showing her that she's not alone – as He's her comforter - the Shalom (peace) that she's needs inside of her.

I felt Yeshua was saying to me when it comes to what it felt for me being in that basement alone that he said  “I'm so sorry for all the pain and rejection you are feeling from your Dad.”

I thank Him for noticing me and caring about what I am going through ❤️ and I asked the Lord to protect me from both My dad's anger and my own Hatred I feel for myself.

Yeshua then said to me “That I am so precious to Him.”

Which makes me feel good - as I Am Loved by our Yeshua.

My counsellor told me that as we Heal those difficult memories with our Yeshua, it can help make the memory safer and better to handle - and with that it can help bring you to freedom as you work through those pains and see things differently and that you aren't alone.

I know how difficult it can be to feel so alone side of yourself that even when people are around you, you can still feel lonely – as the anxiety, depression, hopelessness and more brings you down that you only focus on your struggles.  But if you listen to our Yeshua – He will show you He will always be there and is still there now – so He can help bring you up safely onto your feet, so to show you in these everyday battles that you aren’t alone ❤️.

Patricia  <3   :)

 

Psalm 73:23    Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.

 

Here’s a song about remembering to not be afraid to stand out and show your love for others, as that’s how the lost gets found.

 

“The Lost Get Found” By Britt Nicole

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8FFChCH7e8&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=105

 

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