Pearce the Heart

  On March 28, 2024 I decided to write about an important post about when I had counselling, and we decided to go back and talk about a memory I had when I was four with my dad. At one point when I had been emotional and crying, he yelled at me and said "You stupid little girl" what's wrong with you, just be quiet and stop crying. But that got me to cry even more, and even though I wanted to try to be that perfect quiet little girl dad wanted, I couldn’t seemed to be. It made me feel bad about myself, and that I must be the problem – because I couldn't do what my dad asked me to do, which was to be perfect – so I hated myself because of that as I couldn’t stop my dad from getting mad at me, as well as I couldn’t control my emotions, which put me in a scary trapped place that I hated to be in. Then my counsellor said to bring Yeshua (Jesus) in-between Dad and I. Then my Yeshua tells me, “Oh my precious little girl, You Are Not Stupid, and You Are Wanted! There...

  It’s been sometime since I last wrote a post as I had been at H.W. for my ED sometime, and was now home, and as much as it helped somewhat, there was still a bunch of things I still need to work through, ED, my mental struggles and my gut pains. I tried a new counsellor for a couple months, and though the new lady counselor was also somewhat helpful, I was still not getting where I wanted to be, so I decided to go back to my old Christian counsellor. On March 21, 2024 I decided to write about an important post about when I had my counselling and there were some things that stood out to me.   One was that you need to remember that words can have power over you for the good or the bad.   So it’s important to not say bad things as it could end up happening, and bringing you more down there is necessary. After talking about that we got onto talking about a difficult childhood memory that my Mom told me about that was connected with my dad and I when I was a baby. M...