Working through my mood for the better with God
On August 30, 2023 I decided to write about an important post about how my mood had been pretty bad as it seemed with over doing it with the food yesterday, which took a toll on my mind.
I was able to get myself to volunteer with the Foodbank that my Mom volunteered at, but I have to admit that it was still quite difficult at the beginning - but being distracted and working on organizing everything there helped me.
I was thinking that not seeing the people I got close to at the Foodbank as well as the Church both because I’m going to H.W. ED program, but also because I won’t be in the same city when I come back, as I’ll be back with my hubby again and we don’t get out to the city all that often. So that is going to be hard, as I've gotten attached to them. But that just means that the visits to the Church and Foodbanks would be more meaningful.
At on point when I got home, my mental & gut state was so brutal - I couldn't keep it in and I just cried in physical & mental pain – as I was feeling and saying I don't want to be here – but truly is that I just want those feelings, sensations and more to Stop.
I could tell Elohim (God) wanted to just have me let it out like trees do when they let go of their leaves and for me to cry when I was by myself, as I was feeling so scared, alone and in pain.
I think He was trying to show me it's okay to feel this way, especially when I can express it in a safe and healthy way, and that yes there is darkness inside of me, but that His light is protecting me as well in those difficult times.
After that though I was so shaky I wasn't sure how I'd get through the next few hours or more – but instead I tried to work through the time and – I ended up being like – Okay I needed to message questions with H.W. – then Okay I need to call my Dr.'s office – then Okay I need to call my hubby to do a backup on my phone.
Then at some point I noticed wait.... My mood
has improved without me trying to fix it.
And though I know distraction can postpone the pain you feel inside – it can be helpful to do to focus on something else, especially if you have released what you needed to earlier, as then it gets you to decompress things slowly instead of intensely right off the bat.
With me doing better through finding things to do I ended up wanting to keep trying with not letting my obsessive, dark and anxious mood take over me when I was doing better.
So I am thankful Elohim (God) helped me to let some strong emotions out, so I could keep feeling better, even with it being harder at times and my Gut stuff still kicking around. I think He was showing me that in the right space and mindset I can let my emotions out safely and to be able to keep going – instead of it dragging it down – so remember that His Shalom (Peace) can be there with you when you let Him in.
Patricia
<3 :)
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
Here’s a good song about why are you searching for things
when they aren’t enough, that our Yeshua (Jesus) will be there by your side
even when things are difficult, as He loves us, and only wants the best for us,
so remember to not fight Him, as all He wants to do is help us up in this life
<3.
“By Your Side” by Tenth Avenue North
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKeeH4yB0wI&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=104
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