Connections to First Loves

 


I decided to write an important post on August 31, 2023 of what went on that day.  So I decided I'd take an Uber with Mom to the Airport since Mom is going away for a couple weeks, and I felt like since she's done soooo much for me, and I've connected with her so much more over these past 3 months that I wanted to say by at the airport.  It was so good that the disconnection I used to have with her, was a lot less strong, which is great 😃.

But that also meant I was going to really miss her, because not only is she gone until Sept.11, which is the day I go into H.W., it means I won't see Mom for awhile, plus after going to the program for 4 months, I’ll be going back with my hubby and not my mom.

So not having it where I see Mom each day will make me sad, as to deciding to go with Mom in an Uber, so I could say goodbye to her at the airport, so for sure will miss her❤️.

I really had a good time coming home from the airport and having fun and being Excited about taking my home cities transit, by taking the Buses and Trains as it really made me love T., which is where my first Love is.  As I really am a city girl as it excites me to not only be in the city but taking transit excites me too, especially the trains 😊.

But my first Love is also with my husband & now my Mom too since we connected so well these past 3 months when I have been living with Mom again.  I was thinking to myself that I’d like to find that type of love with Elohim too❤️ .

It would be incredible if one day I had all my Loves❤️ together in one place, but Elohim (God) would have to have it where my hubby and I to afford living in my home city again.

So when I was thinking that I mentioned to my hubby that my Mom was off to her plane and I was glad we got to say our goodbyes, and that for sure I’m going to miss her, but I’m glad we had our little talk before she left, as she keeps encouraging me about H.W. and me making it through that program and process with Elohim’s help❤️.

I told my hubby I feel like I'm doing the whole going away thing even though that’s what my Mom was doing.  It took me a bit to find where transit was as the Airport is pretty big, but I figured it out.  But being out and about made me think oohh I'm home with the being in my city again❤️.

I was saying to my hubby that I hope we live in my home city again, as I feel so happy here, I just can't help it🥰, T. Dot. is my first Love for Home places ❤️

But for sure my True 1st. Love is my husband❤️, and strangely enough I felt that with Mom too recently this time❤️ – as I have finally found the disconnection after all these years, which was around because of my anxiety, depression and insecurities caused me to only talk about surface things, but with our time together Mom & I could finally actually open up and be our whole selves the “good & the bad” and it made us love each other even more ❤️.

So all that’s left which I hope to have some day is a 1st Love with Elohim (God) ❤️.  There are so many Loves I am learning and they are all apart, but maybe someday it'll all be together ❤️😉, or at least most of them❤️❤️.

But obviously Elohim knows best, so if it's not exactly how I want it, that I'll still feel Shalom (Peace) about where I am at with all my Loves❤️, including my sweet babes 🥰

I'm still super struggling a lot through today with My Mental State - but somehow I try to keep going.  But on a random cute note my brother J. asked if I can eat Spring Rolls, and I said I don't know it depends on what's in it.

Considering earlier how adamant he was about not wanting to share it with a worker that would help him with the meals with Y., it showed me that he actually cared about me, which I know he rarely does things outside of himself - so it's very kind of him to offer those for me, even when I didn’t end up having any.

As when it came to giving it to Y. he wasn't so for it, at least not until I was like you could just give her 1 or 2 if she wants some – and he reluctantly agreed. -  and I thought Oh J.😜.  I get the not wanting to share foods, as I'm that way with the ED & food addiction at times - so I get it - but considering she is going to be help making supper – I still thought it was silly not to give the options to the person making the food for them - but it also showed that J. was showing his love to me through food also.

I’m so glad that it’s possible to find so many different loves that Elohim provides for us through people, places, things and of course Himself.  It’s so good to be able to not only be loved by others, but to love others also it makes us feel less alone, which is so good to have ❤️.

 

Patricia   <3   :)

 

1 Corinthians 16:14      Let all that you do be done in love.

 

Here’s an older one, but a good one, which is about going to our Lord and letting our heart by changed and renewed by Him, and that our weaknesses will be striped away by the power of your love.  We ask our Lord to hold us close and our love surround us and as we wait we’ll rise up like an eagle and we’ll sore with Him and His spirit led me on by the power of His love <3.

 

“The Power of Your Love” by Hillsong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9_0jiO5ZRM&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=131

 

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