Asking for a Clear Sign from God about Treatment

 

This important post is about what went on both August 28& 29, 2023 in regards to in-patient ED Program I was trying to get into.

On August 28, 2023 I decided to check in with both the city Hospital and also H.W. ED in-patient Programs to see where I was at with my applications.

At first both of them weren't sure when they would get back to me, when suddenly I got two phone calls back to back from both of them.

I heard that the cancelation for an assessment with the city ED program was available so that I could get that done tomorrow online with one of the psychiatrists  - which if I got accepted I would likely get into the in-patient program likely within the next month.

Then I got a phone call that I was accepted with H.W. in-patient ED Program - so I knew they would also be within the month also - but still wanted to know more about the program and see if there was an OHIP bed available so I also had a phone call with H.W. ED Prog. the next day right after the city ED Program online assessment.

So with that I was talking to my Mom and stressing about not knowing which one I would choose in the end for treatment depending on the phone calls I had with both treatment places the next day.

So I was praying and hoping to have a clear answer as to where to go from God and I ended up

Seeing a deer during a walk with my Mom and we felt like that was a big sign things that I will be okay for the future with treatment.

Then if that wasn’t enough, I got another one from a friend R.G. and I remembered that she had gone to both of them, so I decided to message her and see what she thought about them both, and surprisingly she got back to me quickly the next day.

Then on August 29, 2023 the next day I had the City in-patient ED Program assessment call and it went well.  As I was saying actually talked to my friend R.G. and she was pretty against the City one as they seemed to be more about getting as much food and weight gain as they can and then discharge you.

I talk to the psychiatrist there, and it kinda seemed like that, but maybe not as extreme to that degree, but enough to know there wasn’t a lot of therapy besides stuff connected to the ED.

Then when I talked to my friend R.G. about H.W. she said it's a longer program of up to 4 months, while the City one was 3-6 wks. But there is a lot more support and a lot of groups at H.W.

I said that I wasn’t a fan of groups as I am an introvert, as well as if there is a lot of them that it can be tiring, especially if I don't get much alone time.

I wasn’t sure if they have much individual therapy, but I was hoping if they do it won't only be ED related, as I knew that I have a lot of other Mentally Struggling on a regular basis.

So I thought things through and when I mentioned to my friend not only did I have an offer to come into Homewood soon, but that they happened to have an OHIP (gov. funded) bed for the ED program – she said “oh my goodness!!!!!!! Do You Know How Rare That Is!!!!

It really is a Miracle!!!”

I mentioned I needed a clear sign of where I should go, – she said “I'm Telling You Go Go Go, as the City one isn't that great except for severe cases of ED and getting the person’s weight up.”

She also said Homewood works so much better with you and that the grounds are beautiful.

She mentioned again that getting an OHIP Bed is extremely rare and it only seems to come up about 4x a year if that & and usually it is just 1 bed at a time she said.

I found out that otherwise it's all semi- or private rooms that you pay for, which tends to be $42,000 for the 4 months if you don’t have insurance or have it government funded.

So to have it covered - and be exactly when I needed to go in and on a random chance I get a week together with my husband a week before I was to go in, during his vacation made it perfect timing.

To top it all off its on Sept. 11, - 9/11 which is also a way of asking for help – which I am very much doing.  Oh and I mentioned that my Mom and I saw a deer the night before when I was praying about an answer, and my friend by chance knowing about both places - which I dreamed about her and I hadn’t talked to her in years.  It was all ding ding ding ding ding sign sign sign, etc.

So all that to say, yessss I accepted H.W.’s offer so that I'll be going in on Sept. 11, 2023 at 8:30am.  Because my Mom is coming back that evening from her vacation – my husband is going to take the day off to drive me there and say goodbye again, which I could see being hard for both of us, but is the right thing to do.

So as I said to my Mom & my husband.   I know I'm scared and not totally ready to give everything to God – But I know I want to get better in the end – and I felt well He knows that & He knows where I am at and where I need to go - but I felt okay if I can't give all of myself and totally my ED stuff – I can at least give Him the Treatment place as I know in my heart I want to get better someday. He knows the pathway to get there so I was like Okay God even if I'm not sure what that is – pick the right one for me, BUT MAKE IT CLEAR which one that is – and so miracle of miracles OHIP covered H.W is it❤️.

I know it's very much a timing thing for sure as with H.W. I had been wanting healing & treatment earlier than this – and it’s possible I had to be in a more desperate place to be more willing to have treatment as I was struggling so badly – and it’s possible that an OHIP bed would have not been available until then.

So though it may have seemed like God wasn't working things out earlier -He still was, but in the background unknown to me – which is something I know He does regularly – but as I said I don't always see it - I forget at times or let my depression, anxiety and despair take over so I lose hope of Him getting me there.

And also the enemy can put deep dark lies in my mind that I often accept - as at this point in my life it's easier to accept a dark lie instead of a bright truth - as the darkness is so deep in me.

But one day I Believe that will Change with His Help & hopefully the treatment at H.W will get me to where I need to be soon❤️.

So though I know it’s really hard to have to wait, often it’s in Elohim’s (God’s) timing that brings about true healing.

Patricia   <3   :)

 

Isaiah 38:7    This shall be the sign to you from the Lord, that the Lord will do this thing that He has promised.

 

Here’s an oldy but a goody for a song when you are struggling to see a way out and there seems to be no way that Elohim (God) will make a way in those difficult times, as He works in ways we cannot see, and He will be our guide and He will hold us closely to His side.

 

“God Will Make A Way” by Don Moen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zo3fJYtS-o&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=128