Focus on the Love

 

I decided to write about I decided to write an important post on June 29 & 30, 2023 about what’s been going on with me.  I don’t mean to be a broken record, but unfortunately I continue to be in an Extremely Desperate place Mentally – which is making it sooooo Difficult to keep going as I continued to be have this constant Torture in my mind both with myself & the enemy.

My Obsessions and Thoughts of not wanting to Be Here is beyond tooo much.  I can't seem to stop it, Oooooohhhh Elohim Please Make It Stop, I just Can't handle this 😞🥺😳😔😟 is what I prayed to my Elohim (God) when I was in the worst of it.

I continued to speak to My Elohim and say that it feels like it’s a Never-ending Torture - I just can't seem to be able to stay.  But I know I love my husband & Feel so bad it's causing him just as much pain.  – But I can't seem to make to stop – making me want to go away – I need the Freedom through You Elohim – I've lost all hope – I don't feel safe -Please Rescue Me!!!!

That’s when Elohim said to me ❤️❤️❤️Remember to Focus on the Love❤️❤️❤️.

Elohim Reminded me that when I decided to go for a walk to try to help myself and listen to music as it can often calm me down.

I ended up listening to a song that I needed to hear after I was in a Desperate state earlier, which is when I started to feel the Love again.

I suddenly after crying out to Elohim for days and then some, turn on my MP3 player and the song that happened to come on mid song was "So Far to Find You - by Casting Crowns.

And the words said

"Will you take my love and give up the fight

I have come so far to find you

So far to find you."

 

WOW those words spoke to me.  As that was the point when I was struggling so badly Mentally & Desperately needing something from my Elohim when I finally heard from Him through this song.

  For your information I put the actual lyrics below, but I realized This Is My Song – it's what I've being go through for sometime in my head.

Elohim was trying to show me to Stop Trying to Fight against Myself & Him – to Stop giving into the Hate & Fear that I put so much on Myself & the enemy puts on me.

To accept and Focus on the Love❤️ that I can feel from Him and for myself and for others.

It was crazy because I was trying force myself to forgive myself and crazy force myself to stop the hating myself and the Terror I was feeling inside myself.

Not realizing that Focusing on the Love❤️ was still actually inside me that I didn’t realize was still actually there ever so little bit, would help bring me out of my desperate mental state.

I always want to run away and fight everyone, including Elohim and it's so hard to accept the love when darkness and hate goes so deep inside in me, but I thank my Elohim for the Love Reminder I so desperately needed❤️.

So to those that are struggling so difficulty, like I have been, to give your pain over to Elohim (God) so he can hold you and take that pain away that’s hurting you as you hold onto it too much.

Patricia  <3  :)

 

Deuteronomy 20:4     For the Lord your God is He who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.

 

Here’s the song I talked about, and that even though we may feel broken, abandoned, crying and all alone, that our Elohim (God) comes so far to find you.  I put the lyrics as well below as it stood out to me.

 

"So Far to Find You” by Casting Crowns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooYWCAG3veo&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=46

 

"So Far to Find You - by Casting Crowns

"You were broken, abandoned, And crying, all alone.

We were waiting and praying,

And longing to bring you home,

And then we saw your face,

In a moment you were wrapped up in our hearts

We took a step of faith, And now here we are

Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight

I have come so far to find you

So far to find you

Will you take my love and give up the fight

I have come so far to find you

So far to find you

From a world away, I journeyed

Just to hold your hand

You will never be alone again

I've come so far to find you

So far to find you

You were fighting, and fearful,

You were hiding your heart away

But I was trying, so hard to show you

'Cause there were no words that I could say

If you could see my heart

You would know that all I want to do

Is care for you

Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight

I have come so far to find you

So far to find you

Will you take my love and give up the fight

I have come so far to find you

So far to find you

Here in your eyes I see Reflections of myself

How I'm the child that's really running

But I can hear a voice that's whispering my name

Saying come to me, don't run from me

I'm all you need and I am calling

Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight

(I have come so far)

Will you take my love and give up the fight(I have come so far)

Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight

I have come so far to find you

So far to find you

Will you take my love and give up the fight

I have come so far to find you

So far to find you

From Heaven's throne

Down to a rugged cross I came

It was My love for you that brought Me all the way

So far to find you

So far to find you

You were broken, abandoned And crying all alone"