Pearce the Heart

  I decided to write about I decided to write an important post on June 29 & 30, 2023 about what’s been going on with me.   I don’t mean to be a broken record, but unfortunately I continue to be in an Extremely Desperate place Mentally – which is making it sooooo Difficult to keep going as I continued to be have this constant Torture in my mind both with myself & the enemy. My Obsessions and Thoughts of not wanting to Be Here is beyond tooo much.   I can't seem to stop it, Oooooohhhh Elohim Please Make It Stop, I just Can't handle this 😞🥺😳😔😟 is what I prayed to my Elohim (God) when I was in the worst of it. I continued to speak to My Elohim and say that it feels like it’s a Never-ending Torture - I just can't seem to be able to stay.   But I know I love my husband & Feel so bad it's causing him just as much pain.   – But I can't seem to make to stop – making me want to go away – I need the Freedom through You Elohim – I've lost all hope – I...

  On June 1, 2023 I decided to write an important post on about when I realized for myself it's really scary when it comes to trying to Live and Choose this Life as I don't know what that is, as I've lived with my ED, food obsessions, other types of obsessions and escaping in different ways for most of my whole life and it’s what made the type of decisions I decide to make because of it – which may or may not be a good or bad thing for me. And I realized when I wanted to stop those things that I cling to so much that it Paralyzed & Trapped me.   It explains why I would want to hold onto them so much as I don't know what to do or who I am without them. – And yet I know I need to get past those things to get better and find my life again both with my hubby and myself. There is also this terror that comes on when I am plagued with indecision as to what to do next, which makes me feel so lost and frozen.   It's crazy how Life can be so paralyzing when you don...