When reality comes into Dreams

 

I unexpectedly found out on the evening of Thu. Mar. 23, 2023 that my Regular Meat Bibbles, which is what my hubby and I would call our Meatballs 😉 that I always have, which were the PC Italian Chicken Meatballs, were no where to be found in the stores we went to.  That made me quite anxious, as they seemed to stop making that product.

For me that was truly awful as I use it for my main source of meat, and when you don’t eat a lot of variety of things, you tend to cling to what you can have, as there aren’t a lot of options out there to have.

Not being able to suddenly buy my Meat Bibbles put me in such a Mental State of Shock 😲.  I was freaking out, so much so, that I couldn't focus on anything else, as for the loss of it, and suddenly needing to figure out what to do about it.

I really don’t do well with sudden change, as I’m so frequently in a fearful state that I tend to freeze when something comes on, instead of taking on the challenge straight on.

When I found out my main meat source was gone, it's like time stood still and all I could do is freak out.   I didn’t care about anything else, so that when I got home, I couldn’t even get myself to watch a show, message someone, or do something I like as, I couldn’t focus on anything because my worry and anxiety about the food I normally ate was gone.

It's crazy how badly I struggle with change, it’s no wonder I'm so terrified of it as even what others would consider little things, become so huge to me.

Instead of taking a breath and seeing there is always a solution to things, and that maybe just maybe trying something new will be better for me.

I automatically think ooohhhhh noooo!!!! The food I am used to that I like is gone, and I won’t be able to cope!!

Then the night of Thu. Mar. 23, 2023 when I was dreaming I ended up having a dream that oddly enough my terror I was feeling came into my dreams.  For me that doesn’t normally happen, as normally I can be really stressed out, and dream peacefully, even if it’s a “scary dream” as my body wouldn’t feel it, so I could somehow realize the scariness wasn’t real.

So I often appreciate my sleep as it's the one time I can relax, in the dream, and when I first wake up. 

Of course the second I realize I am awake and start to think, I very quickly go back into my mental struggling state I have everyday.

Anyways it's first time I can remember my shocked/scared/I can't focus on anything state I had tonight, ended up in my dream tonight.

I felt in a dazed state and things were blurry and I was running in a "crazy scared state" so to speak around and around in different hallways in a building looking desperately for a way out.  But I couldn't seem to find one, which made me feel so very trapped, which made me realize for sure how I felt in life.

I was crying out to my Elohim (God) to help me to not just get past this moment, but to learn how to let go and move on regularly, because having a sudden massively struggle with my meatballs I realized wasn’t really about the meatballs, as it was about feeling completely out of control and unsafe and feeling like I’ll never get better – which brings on a lot of terror for me.

Then on the morning of Sat. Mar. 25, 2023 Nathan and I had a Morning talk after I woke up.  I was still in a Super Struggling Mentally State of struggling to wanting to be here and live. I desperately was crying out to Elohim for help.

Then in our bed with Nathan and Elohim (God) there they helped me, by holding me and letting me deeply cry, and showing so much love for me.

Elohim was trying to show my connection in the dream connected to what went on in reality that as I was trapped running in my dream from Thu. Mar. 23, 2023 – that actually I was a trapped little a child inside of myself- and that mentally state was still like that in my mind.

Elohim was trying to show me that I needed to deal with that past stuff instead of running away from it as I always do.  So that He can help me get better and out of that trapped place I almost always get stuck in.

Thankfully my mental state started to calm down after that talk I had with Nathan and my Elohim

Things that helped was to be reminded that – When you are in the stress box state that so overwhelming to think to yourself "why do I feel I have to do things a certain way” or “why am I feeling this way" -and see where you thoughts are going with that.

A reply to that could be “because I need to find control and I feel trapped”.

That when it’s important to working through that emotional state you are having and helping yourself to breathe, let that intense stress go, slow things down, and see that you are okay, or at least will be soon enough.

Being so freaked out and overwhelmed is for sure not ideal, but listening to Elohim’s calming voice and taking a breath to breathe can help you sense His Shalom and understand that things will get better when you realize He has you even in the little things that seem so big.

He understands that we may not always see the Big Picture like we want to, that things happen sometimes so me can move on with our lives.

So though I didn’t appreciate having a nightmare after being so stressed out from my food items being gone in the stores, it helped me acknowledge that I need help with my day to day life, and He’s the right one to go to.

So I know that it can be hard to work through tough new changes, and feelings of terror from both your life and sometimes even dreams, the more you work at not letting them control you, the stronger it will make you in the long run.

Patricia <3   :)

 

Psalm 4:8   In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

 

Here’s a song about watching, waiting, praying, and staying on your knees as My Deliverer Elohim (God) will rescue you from all the things have held you captive and He will set you free so that you can be alive and live – so that every moment I can give Him Praise as He’s My Deliverer.

 

“My Deliverer” by Mandisa

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWX4_RRjc0k&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=48