It’s only Coins

 


On the evening of Sun. Mar. 19, 2023 my hubby said that no matter what, whether I change or not, he'll always love me❤️❤️ and that it's not just about him wanting me to change for him or otherwise, as he always wants me to be me❤️, but that if things weren't to change connected to my Gut Stuff, and how badly I struggle mentally with my Anxiety & Depression, which causes me to struggle to be here, I might not be here some day😞.

 I broke down, my body shaked, and I cried, as I really got what he was saying🥺.  My ED, obsessions, and destructive ways are the ones that control me so badly, and my hubby said those are things to help me see that they need to change.

They are things that have too much control over my life, which I agree and I don't know how to go against them.

But I do know in the end I want to get past them, so some day I can truly get my life back, and I asked My Elohim (God) to walk with me and help me get there someday ❤️.

I said to my hubby before bedtime. " That I am terrified of change😳."

and my hubby said "It's only coins😊."

Something I needed to hear so I could laugh about was that.  It made me want to write down about it, as it made me relax to know that I obvious am scared about doing things differently.

So when my hubby mentioned about being scared of coins, it mad me laugh, teehee my silly hubby, it makes me love him even more🥰🤗👩‍❤️‍👨😊🥰.

Change can be a very scary thing to do in our lives, but even scarier is either staying stock in the same place, or worse falling backwards in a destructive way.  I may not be ready to completely change for the better, but even acknowledging it is important to take that step towards true freedom and healing.

I don’t always need to fix everything, sometimes its about taking one little thing to work on like being kinder to myself, or waking up each morning and trying to look on the positives instead of the negatives each day. 

It’s important to know that I don’t need to fix myself all on my own as “I don’t have to control everything to get better" - it's not our job to fix absolutely everything by ourselves as Elohim (God) our Counsellor can help with that.

It can also be about listening to Elohim’s voice to guide us to what is important to do, as listening to Elohim's voice, which is His Truth and His Love, which is perfect and where the healing can come from.

I imagine with Real Healing He will help bring about the things that are holding you back, so that you don’t have to constantly hide and run away from things.  Yup change is scary, but getting to the point where you can accept love from Him, other loved ones and even yourself, will make it worth working through the pains of change so the healing within can finally happen. 

Patricia <3   :)

 

Psalm 51:10    Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 

Here’s a song about trying not to worry about things, as it’s not going to make it better, that you aren’t alone, and that if Elohim (God) can hold the world – He can hold this moment that you are going through.

 

“Sparrows” by Jason Gray

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRJZQFRyZ6s&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=44

 

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