Pearce the Heart

  I decided to write about Feb. 27, 2023.   I was having another counselling session and it really made an impact on me.   I often feel alone in my struggles, and though I knew that there were underlining deeper core issues that were a part of that, I couldn’t seem to figure out exactly what that was on my own. I continued to talk about feeling out of control, even though I try to control everything in my life.  This time my counsellor decided to go back to a past memory that was difficult for me.  He explained that God is of all time, past, present and future, so fixing those memories could happen at any time and he was going to have Yeshua (Jesus) be a part of that. I had never thought about that in that way, as I always felt if things are in the past; even when it comes to talking about it, that it couldn’t be fix. So I thought, well there is no harm in trying this idea, worse case nothing changes. So my counsellor and I prayed that Elohim (God) would...

  Today I decided to write on February 22, 2023 of thoughts I had and I have mentioned in previous posts that accepting help isn’t an easy thing to do for someone that doesn’t trust others, and gets stuck in their self-destructive behaviours, as it feels like it will get you through the stresses and difficulties of life. But it’s something that needs to happen to change.   If you try to do everything on your own, even with the best intentions, it will only get you so far, especially if you are still holding onto your old ways and baggage that is holding you down. I have been in counselling before, for many years actually.   Growing up wasn’t easy, and our family was on occasion being forced to have family therapy, and it was never useful, as the main person that had and was causing the problems was controlling the therapy sessions, so nothing ever got done. Then eventually when I was badly into my anorexia as a teen, I was forced again to get help for my eating diso...

  I decided to write about February 21 & 23, 2023.   I just recently started counselling and my counsellor gave me the idea that every part of you has a purpose, this would even include the "negative" parts of you, or as some may perceive the “bad parts” of you. Being negative towards yourself such as being critical, angry, depressed, as well as destructive behaviours such as an eating disorder, self-harm, obsessiveness, hatefulness, etc. are all parts of you. They aren’t necessarily bad - more just a part of you that you felt you needed to get through things. I had never thought about that before, as I felt all those things I’ve mention above are all “bad” parts of me that I want to get rid of.   I don’t know how this exactly works as I just started this type of counselling; But I think it’s about t alking and listening to the different parts in yourself in compassion as to why they do what they do, and how they feel.   I think it’s about bringing the p...

  Today being February 7, 2023 I had a really good call with a really dear friend that I’ve known since I was a very little girl.   It had been sometime since we last talked on the phone, but that great thing is that even with time going by, I always find I get encouraged by her. When we talked I found out that she had Covid, which had really hit her bad.   It ended up affecting her physically a bunch, and it lasted longer than she expected it to. But she was still so encouraging, that though it took a lot out of her, she still mentioned that there are so many others that are worse off than her, who are on a regular basis really struggling and are in a lot of pain health wise, which she included me in. I thought that was kind of her to include me in that group, as to be honest I forget “so to speak” that I am “One” of those people.   I never imagined I would become someone who has chronic pain, but then again, no one just wakes up and thinks “hey I want to star...