Running towards Something

 


On November 7-8, 2022 my husband and I were watching Season 4 Episode 4 of the Netflix show “Stranger Things” (spoilers alert for those who want to watch this episode)

and the character Max was being sucked into this enemy monster demon thing world/her mind, who is preying on depressed/traumatized people, and chasing them in their minds, until they are taken by it and killed.

The only way out for them was to listen to positive music that connected them to the good things in their life.  I teared up at this point, as this is my life.

I was just saying in my head when I was watching the episode, was, Run Max Run Max!!, when there was suddenly an opening back to her life.  This was when she started to hear the music of her favourite song her friends put on, which helped her to start to get her away from this insanely scary Monster.  She ran as fast as she could, and at the last moment finally made it. 

Wow was it super intense, watching this last scene of the episode.  The scary thing is though is that I have that most days, where the Monster/Enemy/My Mind wants to give in, and give up and go away forever, but I know I can't for my husband’s sake, and even at times, for myself.

It’s crazy how intense it can be having it where each day you wake up, and you dread that you have to keep going, as there is no motivation, or energy to keep standing up yet again, with the enemy and yourself beating you down all the time.

Like in the episode you are just hearing a ticking clock counting down, and it freaks you out, as you feel the end is near, yet at the same time there is a little part of you that wants to be caught so you don’t have to be constantly scared, and have it over and done with.

But at the absolute worse of it for Max, her friends were looking out for her, and as that music came on, she could see a hole in that darkness that had overtaken her.  Even though at first she didn’t think she could escape that enemy, and her own despair, she started to look up and see that light start to shine through.

I could see that it was not an easy thing for her to run towards the hole where the light and her life was, as the enemy, and her own doubt kept throwing things at her to try to stop her and break her down, so she wouldn’t make it to the opening of that hole.  At one point I wasn’t sure she was going to make it, but amazingly she did.

As I said earlier I could relate to the character Max, she had been struggling for sometime before this in life, and it came to a breaking point when the enemy and her knew she might not make it, and the enemy hit her at the most deepest darkest insides of her.

The enemy really knows how to hit you where it hurts, and most people aren’t able to fight against it, as the enemy goes where you feel the most worst and vulnerable about yourself.  When you agree with that lie, then you start to attack yourself too.  I’ve been there a really long time.

I couldn’t help tearing up watching that, and I believe my Elohim (God) wanted me to see that, to show me that He is part of that light out there for me, I just need to run towards that positiveness I have in my life.

I always listen to music when I run, not just as a distraction, but also because it encourages me.  I find I can hear Elohim the most when I really tune into the words, and let Him speak to me.

So I pray to My Elohim for myself and for those that are struggling so intensely as well, that you don't let the enemy like this monster win, and that you let Our Elohim, your loved ones and yourself win together, so that you don't have to keep running constantly each day away from the "enemy/your mind getting after yourself".

  That way you can finally breathe, actually be here, and be free with Elohim’s protection from the enemy and your struggling mind.

Patricia   <3   :)

 

Psalm 18:28     You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.

 

Here’s a song about asking about why do you doubt, and look back and see how much Elohim (God) has done for you, and asking why do you fear – why can’t you surrender – and remember you can see that in every season He’s always there – He’s faithful and you can trust Him – so give it all to Him.

 

“Oh My Soul” by Rebekah Dawn featuring Mary Monari

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsEbOd38LFw&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=27

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thursday November 5, 2015 (1st blog post)

Image
  On Thursday November 5, 2015 since the weather had been so incredibly warm this first week of November I wanted to try to run a bit more.   My husband and I had noticed that my running times have gotten slower – we think it might have something to do with the weather being cooler.   I decided I’d go for a run after my hubby got to his work.   I have found that over the past few weeks with weighing myself daily my weight had gone up a few pounds more then I’d like and it seemed I was battling with my Eating Disorder a lot more than I had been in awhile.   I have been in recovery from my ED since sometime in March 2015, yet I do occasionally fall back into it, or feel like I want to embrace it again, which I know deep down isn’t a good idea.   I had a few reasons why I wanted to go for the run; one, to figure out if the cold weather was causing me to be more tired during my runs, which would cause me to run slower.   The second reason was due to my...
Read more

Helping my 10 year old self (Counselling)

Image
  On July 25, 2024 I decided to write about an important post about some things that came up during counselling. I was asking for healing from Yeshua (Jesus) & Elohim (God) with the Gut pain and any issues that may be the root cause of it. When I thought about that I felt that I said I feel scared all the time.   My counsellor asked what I felt when I was scared.   I said of Being Alone, Being Trapped with my emotions, being punished for being weak. Then he asked what are the emotions that are scary to be trapped with? I said Fear, Anxiety, Despair - Hopelessness. He asked me what I am afraid of and I said of dying alone, and I put that feeling 8 out of 10.   Then he asked where do you feel it in your body, I said my chest. Then he asked if there was any other fears, and I said Fear of living and not being able to handle it. -That’s when I had an overwhelmed feeling - connected to the 10 year old – of being scared of my dad and thinking life will nev...
Read more

Counting

Image
  I decided to write this short post on Dec. 3, 2024, it’s been awhile since I wrote any newer posts as I haven’t been in the right mindset to do so.   My mental struggles have been really strong, and I often barley can get through the day. I just don’t feel like the same person I used to be, I know there is a caring part of me, but it just seems to be lost inside of me, so that even though I want to help people, that need is gone when I am so very focused on my own struggles constantly. But when I was just so lost, and trying anything to calm down, I got a reminder in my head of when my previous counsellor from years ago she mentioned to count to 10, and try not to think of anything else.   I tried it at first when I couldn’t sleep and surprisingly it helped me more than I expected.   For the most part I tend to sleep pretty easily, but there are times when my mind just keeps racing about my food obsessions, or how the day will be tomorrow, if I can get throug...
Read more