Pearce the Heart

  I was reading a book today being August 27, 2022 called Emotional Free by Grant Mullen M.D. and parts of Chapter 21 called “What Really Happened to Us” stood out to me. This specific chapter was written by Kathryn Mullen his wife, from her perspective when they were going through struggles. The first part of the chapter that really stood out to me, was about her being passive in life and in her marriage, and just letting things happen, which is so me. I find most of my life I didn’t want to offend anyone, and I didn’t want to make trouble.   I wanted to please everyone that is around me.   Then as I became more depressed and anxious, even pleasing other people became harder for me to do. I just found to get through life I starting doing the minimum, and stopped showing up to life, even though my body was still there.   I was always nice to people, but since it felt like it took so much energy for me to do much of anything, I didn’t initiate reaching out to ...

  Today on August 19, 2022 while I was on my run Elohim (God) helped calmed me down by reminding me of a couple previous therapy techniques that I had leaned in the past.   Since He helped me so much with this, I decided to write a post about it. First technique was visualizing and thinking about putting my thoughts down.   I had been obsessing, worrying, planning, and thinking about things and what not while on the run.   I have had thoughts that way for a very long time, but I found that these thoughts have been happening so much more this past year, as it seems to be a constant streaming of them from when I wake up to when I fall asleep every day. Back to what I was saying about while I was on the run.   I felt Elohim calm me down by telling me to visualize and acknowledge my obsessive thoughts, to put them in my hand, and then put them on the ground, just for the time being.   He told me I could get back to it after, should I choose to, as I had mor...

  I decided to write about August 15-16, 2022.   I always want to be 2000% past where I need to be when it comes to actually being better, but doing the work, when you are extremely depressed and anxious, is nearly impossible.   I have notice though, that since I've decided to do little changes, just little ones, that I am willing to actually put in a little more work to getting better. Originally I was always trying to force myself to get better for everyone else, because I had to, and especially because I wanted to for my husband, and my Elohim (God), as I made a promise I wouldn’t do the ultimate hurting of myself by leaving them forever. The problem was that I was not motivated to actually try to get better for real.   But somehow because I felt like I needed to do one little thing to help me get better a day, I ended up deciding to watch these therapy videos that my mother-in-law had suggest.   It was with this online company called “Therapy in a Nutshe...

  I decided to write about August 12-13, 2022.   My hubby and I were watching the TV sitcom show Young Sheldon, Season 1 Episode 16.   There was at one point during this episode where Sheldon was getting stage fright before he was supposed to be the lead in the school play Annie.     The teacher running the play mentioned to Sheldon, to try to help calm him down, that while at the circus the trapeze artists always have a safety net to keep them safe should they fall.    He then said to Sheldon that all these people around him here, which was the rest of the cast of the show are his safety net.   It turns out that Sheldon didn't end up doing the play, but what the teacher said helped me to remember that Elohim (God), my hubby and others in my life are part of my safety net.  Hearing what the teacher said about having safety net people out there for you, meant that you could trust them enough to let them help you in your vulnerable stat...

  Today on August 3, 2023 I was thinking about some things and talking to my hubby about it, and I felt like it was something I’d want to write down and also talk about here. I was thinking to myself I thought I had to make Big or Huge changes to have big and huge changes to occur.   It often caused me to stress myself out so much about it, that I’d get down on myself a lot for not being completely better or fully changed quickly.   That’s when I realized little changes can help bring about the big or huge changes of wanting to completely get better or fully change. It's the same thing as the saying goes, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” Lao Tzu You have to start somewhere, and stepping in the right direction is a start.   Little things like noticing the bids chirping, and sun shinning from your window, and being thankful for that, can make a difference as you start to appreciate the beauty that is around you. Then on cloudy, dark...