Letting Go

 


I decided to write about things that went on the run May 14-16, 2022. I am the type of person that is chronically stressed out in some way or another.  It’s just a matter of the degree of stress that is coming up or not.

If someone, or for that matter myself, wants to do something different, it gets me overwhelmed, as I like consistency, and planning things out.  I like to feel in control, as it calms me down, as I tend to over think about things.

If something suddenly comes up, I can often go into a panic, as if I don’t have the answers, or plans in place to figure things out, then I frequently freeze, as I feel I am not able to handle the situation.

I sometimes have rules in my head if I do these things then I’ll be alright, or if I give into myself for what I think I need or want in this life, then I’ll be okay, but that’s not always the case.

I love running, as I don’t feel all the burdens I put on myself there.  I can focus and connect with my Elohim there.  He helps me enjoy being outside in the sun, feeling the breeze on my hair and face as I run past the trees.

But even with the running, as much as I have been so excited to run again, I still at times would do what I want, instead of what I need.

There was a chance of down pouring and thunderstorm on one of the mornings I wanted to run.  My concerned hubby suggested I shouldn’t run, as I am likely to get soaked, or worse hit by lightening, but I wanted to go, because I didn’t think I’d be able to run again in the next couple of days.

I went anyways, and it ended up down pouring, and I heard a little bit of thunder, but thankfully nothing too close by.  I did indeed get soaked, as much as there is an element that’s fun running in the rain, that much water makes things a lot more difficult and not great.

I ran my whole 5km, but I didn’t feel the peace, and excitement I normally would have, as I was thinking about my hubby, and him being concerned about me out there, since I was taking an unnecessary risk I didn’t need to take.  I was also thinking was it really worth it in the end, and I realized, no it wasn’t.

If I needed any clarification about that decision that I shouldn’t have gone for the run, at the very end of my run I actually felt some pain near the top of my hip, that was it.  My body was telling me, you need to slow down, and fortunately I was near home, so I could do that.

The pain I felt increased as the day went on so that I was limping.  I think I got this injury from my body and Elohim saying, you need to take it easy, and that you have to let go of what you think you need, and be open to what I feel you need that’s better for you. 

I was starting to feel slightly better for a tiny bit, but there was still some amount of pain around.  Thankfully I was still able to go for a very short walk when the pain let up a tiny bit the next day, but it didn’t totally go away.  This is something I wouldn’t want to forget, what I did, as it’s better to learn from it, then ignore it. 

It reminded me that walks are still a safer option for me, when I need to not run for a bit for my health.  To remember that I can continue to feel Elohim’s love, peace, and happiness other places too.  Often some of the best walks I’ve had, have been with my loved ones.

I just have to remember with walks or other places, it can be like running too, which is to breathe in and out, to slow things down, and to see the beauty of nature, instead of the darkness I feel inside. 

Often when the sun shines down through the clouds, it reminds me, even when we are struggling to do the right things, that Elohim (God) still loves us, guides us, and can also bring people in our lives to help us down that safer path.  That helped me to breathe in and out again, let go, and remember I can do better next time, and Elohim can continue to help me with that.

Patricia <3  :)

 

1 Peter 5:6-7  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

 

Here’s a song about Trusting in Him that we have to let go and let Him do what’s right for us, even if it’s not exactly how we think it should be, as He knows best <3.

 

“Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv-SXz_exKE&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=3

 

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