Pearce the Heart

  On August 26, 2016 after I’ve wanted to go swimming for awhile this summer I decided to go that day as I didn’t go last year.   I was hoping to go swimming with my husband, but found out that he wasn’t that into it.   I realized that if I wanted to go this year I would have to go on my own. I love swimming as you can float in the water at times, as well as swim under water like a fish.   I find that I get a similar sensation of feeling free as I do when I figure skate.   It turns out that there is an outdoor pool in our apartment complex.   I’ve know about it since I moved in a while ago, but I hadn’t thought about going to it as it’s a pretty small pool. On Thursday since it was a humid and hot day I thought it was a perfect day to go for a swim.   I walked to the apartment pool in about a minute with my towel and sandals.   I had my bathing suit already on so, after taking off my shorts and touching the water with my foot, I almost forgot ...

  On August 21, 2016 I was thinking it’s amazing to see how God can show up in our lives in so many different ways.  It can be as obvious as reading His word in the Bible or as subtle as watching a sunset. Sometimes God can be reaching out to us and we don’t even know it as we are too busy with the day to day things in our lives. I had a former supervisor that I volunteered with for a short time message me a couple of weeks ago about an opportunity to help out with one of her events she was working on.  She read one of my earlier posts on my one year recovery from my eating disorder.   She was looking for people that had lived through and recovered from an ED to have a picture taken of them as well as to answer in two sentences what life was like after recovering from an ED. I was so surprised and touched that she would ask me as I had only known her for a short time.  I found out that the pictures were going to be taken by a professional photographer. ...

  On August 14, 2016 I was thinking that encouraging others is more important than some people may realize.   I remember when I was waiting to go to Mercy for help and once a month I would get an encouragement card from a Mercy girl currently in the program.   They always encouraged me about God’s timing and gave me a scripture to hold onto. I decided after I came home from Mercy that even though I wasn’t in the program anymore I wanted to do the same thing for the girls that were on the wait list to get into the house.   Normally it would only be the girls currently in the program that would write out the cards, but I thought since I would have more time at home to do them, I would see if the staff would be alright with me doing that.   When I got the go-ahead I decided to make each card a little different using coloured pens and stickers. It was a lot of fun to make them.   I never knew who would get my encouragement cards, but I didn’t mind as I th...

  This past Friday on August 5, 2016 I did a few things that I had not done before and they were all out of my comfort zone.   I can tell you that I am a creature of habit.   I like to have consistency in my life more so than spontaneity.   I find that when I am put on the spot to do something I tend to have the deer in the headlights response.   My mind goes blank and I don’t know how to respond to the question.   Doing something new wouldn’t sound like a smart idea for me, but I decided to take a chance for once in my life and I found it was worth it. Nathan and I went to a food festival on the east side of the city.   I had never actually been to one before.   One reason is that before when I use to have an eating disorder I would never let myself eat when I was outside my house.   At the time it felt good that I could control myself while other people would be eating around me.   The truth is that it didn’t make anything better and...

  On August 1, 2016 I was thinking I have learned over the years that being perfect is not possible.   I know for most of my life I would strive for perfection and I would often fall below it.   I didn’t want to make any mistakes and I wanted to be able to pickup on things quickly that were new to me.   The problem about that is that my standards for myself were too high.   I would put myself down when I couldn’t get a math problem or if I couldn’t understand something that I was reading.   I’d even get mad at myself when people around me would fight with each other as I thought that if I had only been quieter or more compliant they would have stopped fighting. A few years ago when I was trying to stop cutting myself I found that I wasn’t able to go more than a few days.   Eventually after going home from Mercy I went five days without self-harming.   I was so proud of myself, and I let the Mercy staff know how well I was doing.   I found a...