Mercy

 

On June 13, 2016 I decided to make this post about Mercy.  I first heard about Mercy through my best friend.  It is the Christian residential program I mentioned in my previous post.  Even though she had not gone to Mercy herself she had heard that it had been helpful for a lot of young women like me that were struggling.  At the time when she had suggested Mercy I wasn’t up for staying at a place for 6 months or more to get help.  Also it turned out it was only in USA originally and I wasn’t willing to leave my country to get better.

By the time I finished college in 2009 I had changed my mind about Mercy.  I realized that if I wanted to get better it would be the place to go to.  One thing that was great was that it was free of charge so I never had to worry about saving up money for it.  I was glad to know even though I struggled with a lot of issues they could help me with all of it at one place.  There are only young women at Mercy so that made it easier to know that they could relate to what I was going through.

I knew my best friend was getting married the month I applied for Mercy, so when I went down to her wedding I told her then that I sent my application in.  She was so excited and relieved to hear that.

After a few months I found out after applying through the USA Mercy site that there was going to be a Mercy in Canada in early 2010.  I was excited to hear that as then I didn’t have to leave my country to get help.  The winter of 2010 came and went and the Mercy Canada house was not ready yet.  It sounded like it would open sometime in May of that year, but it was still not ready yet.  To say the least, I was getting anxious about whether it would ever be ready to open.  Finally, in August 2010 the first Mercy house in Canada was open.

I thought because I had been waiting for a year to get into the Mercy Canada house I would be one of the first residents to go there, but it was not to be.  The problem was that they felt I wasn’t ready to come into the house just yet.  That made me so upset, as I had already waited so long, I couldn’t imagine how much longer I would have to wait.  It turns out I actually ended up waiting a total of two years and three months to get into the house.

I would think most people would agree that 27 months is a very long time to wait to get help.  When I think about it now I realized the staff made the right decision to delay me for my entrance into the program.  If I had gone into the Mercy house when it first opened and everything was so new I think I would not have done well.  It’s not just new for the residents, but all the staff there too.  I know I do much better with stability than uncertainty. Understandably in the beginning with the new program there would be a lot of changes and mistakes as to how things were done.  By the time I came a year and three months after the house opened the staff had developed a consistent routine.

During the extra time I waited, I continued to work with my counselor on getting me ready to really deal with my issues and what was behind them.  When I finally came to the Mercy house I was overwhelmed and scared as I realized I was finally going to work through the hard parts of my life.  I actually didn’t realize until I got to Mercy that I had triggers I didn’t even know that I had.  I found that suddenly I was much more nervous of people I didn’t know, and the sensitively I had to touch back then was now in overdrive.

It was so great that the staff at Mercy were so loving, caring, and sensitive towards myself and all the other young women there.  They were able to help us through our struggles in our individual ways.  I admit that I wasn’t able to give up my self-harming tendencies while I was there.  At one point, one of the staff suggested to me that when I felt the need to hurt myself I should write her a story, and she hoped that it would help by distracting both my mind and my hands.  I couldn’t believe that it had worked! The other staff on duty was a little jealous of the personally-written story and asked me to write her a story.  As it turns out I later published one of those stories, which I will tell you more about in a future post.

As much as I continued to try my best to not hurt myself, I wasn’t able to go more then a few days without doing that back then and as such I was sent home early from Mercy.  During the time I was there I learned so much.  I saw that the staff was showing their love for me not just as a resident, but as a demonstration of God’s love and truth for me.  After I came home it was hard, but instead of falling back into my old ways I ended up going forward and I didn’t look back.  When I came out for their Mercy fundraiser run two years later, they ended up giving me a surprise graduation because they felt I had done all the work I would have finished at Mercy afterwards at home.  I was touched as I realized God was showing me that He celebrates us in our own way.

If you know of any young women that are struggling with life-controlling issues such as eating disorders, self-harm, depression, unplanned pregnancies, different types of trauma, drugs, alcohol and other issues and are between the ages of 19-30 years old for residential programs, and the wellness centre does counselling help for those 13 year old and up. Here’s a link to find help.  http://mercycanada.ca/

Patricia <3 J

Psalm 36:7     How precious is your steadfast love, O God!  The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

 

Here’s a song about to rest in the Lord’s promises, and that you are sure of this, that you are His.  That He is the God over the storm, and that we are His. And we hear the voice of Love from God that is calling us home to where we belong.  And there is no power strong enough that can separate us from His love and we ae His.

 

“I Am Yours” by Lauren Daigle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Bo7mDvQyeA