Giving to myself

 


On February 29, 2016 I was thinking to myself that I find I have trouble giving to myself.  I much more frequently give to others whether that is by writing an encouraging note to someone, my time, or buying a gift.  I guess there is part of me that feels that someone else would appreciate what I give more than I would myself.  I also know there is a part of me that isn’t a big fan of me, which causes me to do fewer things for myself.

Recently as I mentioned before in my previous post I lost my job.  On top of that our car just stopped working a few weeks ago.  I have been feeling stressed by that and worrying about how we would come up with the money for everything and for a new car we need.

Lately we have been getting a ride to the grocery store with my mom, which has been really helpful.  Actually it’s been fun to grocery shop with my mom again as that use to be one of our favourite things to do during the week when I lived at home.  It wasn’t just about getting groceries, it was about taking the time to talk and shop.

Last week my husband and I needed to go to a mall by transit to have my rings checked up and cleaned.  We have to come by the jewelry store once every 6 months in case there are any issues with the stone and because we have insurance with it then they could fix or replace it if the stone became a problem.

The store was on the other side of the city, which meant it took a little over an hour to get there.  By the time we got there it was close to lunch time.  I was already feeling a little stressed about both of us going by transit as that means paying for extra transit.  I didn’t want to spend more money.

I had recently decided to throw out a bunch of my old bras as they weren’t quite the same size and were worn out.  While we were at the mall my husband actually suggested I go to a nice store and check them out since I needed new ones.  Most of me was saying, ‘oh but it’s so expensive’, and I want us to save our money for more important things.

My husband didn’t feel that as he said to me “You are important!”  I compromised and decided well it wouldn’t hurt to look.  We both went into a store that mainly had bras and strangely enough my husband didn’t even feel uncomfortable.  It probably helped that I was there.  There was a lady there that was so helpful and even measured me to see what size I was as I had never had that done.

I tried this one bra on that had no underwire and oh my goodness I think it was the best bra I had ever tried on.  It was so soft and comfortable.  I looked at the price and it was more than I would normally buy for a bra, but I thought it was better for me to buy a quality bra that lasted longer, than buy a cheap bra that lasted me a short time.

I think after buying something for myself I relaxed more.  I realized that God has provided for me and my husband even when weren’t sure where it would come from.  I think God was trying to teach me that it is alright to give to myself sometimes especially when you need to.  Since it was getting a little later I realized that we wouldn’t get home in a good time for lunch.

My husband and I ended up eating out.  I think the last time we went out to eat was in October.  Normally I would have said no to eating out, but I felt God wanted us to enjoy our time out together and I really did.  It felt like we were out on a date again.   I know for some people giving to themselves can be hard, but I find every so often it really is worth it as often it can help you care about yourself again.

Happy Leap Year Day!

Patricia <3 J

 

Luke 12:6-7    Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies?  And not one of them is forgotten before God.   Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.

 

Here’s a song about having tears and pain, and worry and be afraid, and to rest in shadow of God’s wings, and if you feel the weight of many trails and burdens in this world that there is freedom in the shelter of the Lord.  There is a healing hand of God that is reaching out and mending broken hearts and we can see the fullness of His peace and hold onto what we need from Him.

 

“Healing Hand Of God” by Jeremy Camp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzfs9B01Qq8&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=121

 

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