Positive and Negative Words

 

On January 10, 2016 I was thinking some people may not realize how powerful words can be when said to one another.  If you grow up hearing “I love you” or “you are beautiful” said to you every day then it is more likely that this person will feel better about themselves as they become older.  Of course if someone heard “I hate you” or “you’re ugly” said to them every day then they are more likely to feel bad about themselves.

The one thing that people often forget about is what they say to themselves.  If you repeat to yourself something positive about yourself you are more likely to feel and think positively.  The same can go for if you say negative things to yourself you are more likely to feel and think negatively.

I can understand this aspect because I have been telling myself negative things about myself for most of my life.  I don’t remember exactly when this started, but I do know I was quite young.  It wasn’t a matter of people putting me down, as I was putting myself down.  I think my perfectionist personality came on at a very young age where I ended up automatically getting down on myself when I wasn’t doing something right.

My mom would remember this as when I couldn’t get a math problem I would get really frustrated and say out loud “I am stupid.”  My mom right away would say “you aren’t stupid” and would try to reassure me that I just didn’t understand the math problem.  I would not accept her encouragement as I had it in my head that if I couldn’t understand a question then it was because I thought I was dumb.

Of course that wasn’t true, but I was so stubborn about that being true that eventually I started to believe those lies.  This is when problems can start for someone whether you’ve said negative things to yourself or someone else has said that to you repeatedly it ends up distorting what is the truth.  Often that can end up lowering your self-esteem and self-worth.

It took me a long time for me to change how I think about myself.  I had many years of counselling to help me with that.  I found that because I trusted my husband I could trust what he thought about me to be true.  Now I didn’t automatically accept his compliments – that took time – but eventually I believed him. 

I can tell you it has been a constant battle of mine, rejecting what someone says that is positive to me.    There’s a part of me that wants to hold onto the lies that have been in my head for so long, but there’s another part of me that wants to change and realize those lies in my head are not the truth.  The more that I have accepted the real truth about me, the more I have felt better about myself.

I also know that the only one that knows the whole truth is God.  His words are always true.  Even though I try to not accept that, I know that I am only lying to myself.  It’s important to be careful what you say to someone else as they may take it to heart if it’s negative.  I’ve learned recently that it’s also important that if you are not certain how you feel about yourself or what the other person said to you, to ask them to clarify.  When you assume or there is confusion, then it is easier for lies to come in.  That’s when it’s important to stop and ask questions.

Patricia <3 J

 

Proverbs 16:24    Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

 

Here’s a song about that the Lord is over everything, and that He is near.  That His glory and name be lifted high, and the lost will be found, blind will see, the lame will walk, and the dead will live, and because of that and more your God will reign forever more.

 

“The Lost Are Found” by Hillsong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-89WHD-a0_k&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=114