Learning about my energy

 


On December 8, 2015 I decided to write about how my energy can be.

When I was a child I remember loving to run around and playing games outside.  I had so much energy.  I remember I could skip rope for hours and swing myself across the monkey bars with no problem.  It seems like young kids have boundless amount of energy that adults do not have.

Even while I was in middle school and high school I was able to participate in cross-country running, swimming and track and field and I did not seem to get overly tired.  It felt amazing to be able to push my body to faster speeds and focus on the race at hand.  At times it felt like all my worries and anxiety went away as I stopped focusing on my issues and started focusing on the finish line while running or swimming.

I am baffled now when I think back to how crazy busy I was in high school.  With all the sports I was doing, I was also in a few high schools bands.   During the weekdays I would start as early as 7am with a school sports practice, then school during the day, and then after school until 5pm I would have band practice.  Of course I still had homework and practicing my instruments during the evening.  On the weekends I was going to youth group, taking private piano lessons and going to church.  Essentially I was busy all day, every day.

I know for sure I could never do that much today.  For a long time I’ve noticed that I have had low energy since my late teens.  I know that part of that had to do with the aspect of having an eating disorder.  If I’m not eating that much, it makes sense that I wouldn’t have that much energy.

It wasn’t until I was in my 20s that I started to notice that I was drained of energy all the time.  It didn’t make sense to me.  I felt that when I was taking care of my body I thought for sure my energy would increase and if I wasn’t taking care of my health then the consequences would be a lack of energy.

During my 20s my ED went back and forth between getting better and worse.  I attributed my low energy to when my ED was worse.  Even when I was doing better ED-wise I thought it was since I had my anorexia for more than 10 years it was likely affecting my body.

I didn’t clue in until much later that it had something to do with me being vegetarian and having hardly any protein in my diet.  I started to have health issues that were affecting my day to day life.  At some point I decided to go see a doctor and I found out that my iron levels were extremely low.

I was put on iron pills and very slowly over time my energy levels have increased.  I know likely my ED was part of my low energy, but it actually took me getting better from that to finally realize that I had other health issues that I didn’t even know about. 

I don’t have boundless amount of energy like I use to as a child, but by focusing on my health more I am learning to seek out help for when things come up.

I’m happy to say as I wrote in my in my first post that I am able to run again, which I had to stop a few years ago.  I never really knew how much I appreciated that until I wasn’t able to do so.

Patricia <3 J

 

Psalm 68:35   Awesome is God from his sanctuary; the God of Israel—He is the one who gives power and strength to His people.  Blessed be God!

 

Here’s a bit older, but also a good song about wanting to be draw close to our Lord, and we never want to be let go by Him, and that He is our desire, and that no one else will do, and nothing else can take His place, and to feel His embrace and bring you back to Him.  He is all we want, and ever needed and we ask to help us know that You are near.

 

“Draw Me Close To You” by Andy Park

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM91TtXLsys&list=PL3whQX319DaB37iB8NZpJe206iSdpe3kc&index=109

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